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Girlhood's Dinner Before Seventeen

If I died, let me die with my hands soaked in her blood. I wanted her blood, and plenty of it. That is the way I went into the fight, and that is the way I fought it 

— Zora Neale Hurston 

what can endure 

a summer with a carnivore? 

when the cold has left  

to whiten the moon, my heartbreak thaws 

and so, the sweat 

between my body and the steel wall 

flirts with red. 

  

the man on the subway has slender hands, 

that shake under the weak light.  

The car is accelerating again. 

I don’t mean to stare at him 

  

but his eyes are paralyzed moons, 

an Ivan reborn, against the streaking cityscape. 

I can imagine his sinewy palm 

covering a spear-wound on the side of his son’s head.  

​

Ghostly figures take shape in my peripheral vision,  

everything is heating up. 

June has given in 

too easily to old age, spinning gossamer 

around the evening sun.  

  

I push Repin out of a window 

and make my man the protagonist, 

he has more colour 

and fear.  

I have lost myself so swiftly that 

| the orcas that shift  

in the firmament of the sea 

threaten even the sun: 

  

let me eat you, 

let me eat you whole.  

  

the beachgoers have been rounded up 

and warned by police helicopters. 

  

the orcas take this summer as theirs, then | 

everything is heating up. 

| even the temperamental and intoxicated 

on the subway 

shift uncomfortably under my gaze |

I take this summer 

as mine then.  

Written by Anushka Roy

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